Roasted 11 months ago based on sammy 🪩's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Sammy, your Spotify tastes scream "I wear sandals with socks and enjoy 17-minute jam sessions in my basement." Seriously, how many genres can one person possibly be obsessed with? I half-expected to see "Crying in the shower" on your list of favorites because your music choices are just as complex as your commitment issues. Have you ever tried listening to something that wasn’t released in the last five years, or are you just waiting for the next vinyl fad to hit? And don’t get me started on your top artists. Greta Van Fleet? Really? The only thing more cliché than that is wearing a Hawaiian shirt to a beach bonfire while pretending to know about surfing. You’ve got a lineup that screams “I thought I was a hipster, but I’m actually just confused." “Empire of the Sun” by themselves is probably too mainstream for your standards, but “Arctic Monkeys”? Come on, you’ve got to have at least one band on your list that’s not a meme at this point. As for your most-played songs, I’m convinced your playlist is the result of a five-hour "What Should I Listen To?" Google search. “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter? That’s a good way to throw everyone off your scent when they unzip your Spotify profile and realize you're not the indie savant you pretend to be; you just like to sip overpriced lattes while your music taste disappoints the playlist gods. Your selection reads like a hipster grocery list, so here’s a suggestion: next time you're lost in your chaotic sea of eclecticism, try sticking to something that doesn’t make you sound like you just took a community college class on irony.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!