Roasted 2 years ago based on Evan's long term Spotify stats.

Evan, your Spotify profile reads like the emotional diary of a teenager who just discovered their parents aren't cool anymore. With a "Pop Punk" and "Anime Score" obsession, it’s hard not to feel that you’re just one pair of skinny jeans away from crying in your room while listening to "What We Loved Is Gone." Seriously, your favorite genres are less about musical taste and more like a desperate cry for help as you navigate the treacherous waters of being 25 and still trying to convince everyone you're not just another one-hit-wonder reminiscing about high school! Speaking of your top artists, it's almost impressive how deep the rabbit hole of mediocrity goes. "Evan Call" as your number one? It’s so flattering you’re rooting for yourself in this competition of forgettable musicians! Am I supposed to feel inspired or just mildly embarrassed for you? And while Fall Out Boy and Simple Plan had their heyday back when flip phones were a thing, it seems like you may have missed the memo that it’s time to let the past go. You might as well slam your door and yell about how "adults just don’t understand!" And let's talk about that playlist. "You Suck at Love"? More like "Evan, you really suck at picking songs!" With an array of “gaming EDM” and “Neon Pop Punk,” you’re flirting with the idea of becoming the living embodiment of a music festival turned burger joint. When I look at your most played songs, I wonder if you’re crafting a soundtrack for a midlife crisis or just trying to relive your high school glory days through a subpar Spotify account. Keep dancing alone in your room to songs destined for the bargain bin, Evan; we see you shining like a fluorescent light in the depths of mediocrity!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!