Roasted 1 year ago based on ˚𐙚⋆ 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐚 ⋆𐙚˚'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s the Spotify profile embodiment of a mid-tier college student desperately trying to be unique while still clinging to the mainstream like a life raft. With a mix of genres that screams “I definitely have feelings,” your favorites read like a playlist made by someone who’s trying really hard to seem interesting at brunch. I mean, seriously, “Madchester”? Did you pull that out of an abandoned '90s playlist and hope no one would call you out on it? Might as well throw in a little polka and make it a musical smorgasbord of confusion. Your top artists list is a perfect representation of someone who’s trying to navigate the complex world of emotions that only a sad girl with a caffeine addiction could understand. Mitski, Lana Del Rey, and The Smiths? It’s like you bought all the angst at a vintage thrift store, but I bet you still wear it like it’s a badge of honor. Let's be honest; this playlist is one existential crisis away from just turning into a sad TikTok compilation destined to make even the most stoic person weep. Honestly, I can hear the eye-rolling from the next room whenever you play "The Schuyler Sisters." But hey, your top songs are really telling—clearly, you’re a one-woman Mitski fan club with a side hustle in being the world’s most melodramatic karaoke champion. Songs about heartbreak and feeling lost? Groundbreaking. Your Spotify looks like someone tried to create the soundtrack for their life after an overly emotional breakup with their high school boyfriend. I bet if “Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart” had any more emotional weight, it’d collapse under the sheer gravity of your feelings. So here’s to you, ˚𐙚⋆ 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐚 ⋆𐙚˚—may your playlists be ever-diverse and your Spotify Wrapped be filled with exactly zero surprises!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!