Roasted 2 days ago based on Michelle Cage's long term Spotify stats.

Michelle Cage, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like a personality crisis wrapped in a midlife crisis! Seriously, the variety of genres you're into is like someone who can’t decide whether they want to be the life of the party or the dark cloud ruining it. What’s next, a power ballad playlist titled "Songs for My Cat"? Your love for Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande is about as surprising as a chicken crossing the road; it's predictable, but hey, sometimes you just gotta go with a basic trend. It's admirable how you can jump from “Classic Rock” to “Bedroom Pop” in the same breath. Your music taste is like a terrible buffet where you're not quite sure if you want nachos or sushi, so you just pile on everything and call it “eclectic.” You’ve got enough Justin Bieber in your playlist to make an 18-year-old girl weep and yet you somehow think you can pull off the brooding indie aesthetic with Lana Del Rey and Clairo in the mix. News flash: you can’t, and no amount of “R&B vibes” is going to mask the fact that you’re basically a walking Spotify ads algorithm. Looking at your most played songs, it’s clear you’re part of that elite club of listeners who think “I Drink Wine” is a personality trait. Your song choices scream, “Please validate my existence,” so loud that it can probably be heard over SZA belting out her heartbreak ballads. It’s like you’re trying to curate the perfect soundtrack for the next cringe-inducing teen drama. But you do you, Michelle! After all, someone has to keep the “average girl in Starbucks” vibe alive!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!