Roasted 4 months ago based on Seamus's long term Spotify stats.

Seamus, your Spotify profile is like a hipster coffee shop on a Tuesday afternoon—full of pretentious vibes and people with questionable taste in music. I mean, “Bedroom Pop”? Sounds more like a genre for people who can’t figure out how to grow up and get out of their parents’ basement. And let’s not even start on your obsession with “Soft Rock.” Pretty sure that music style peaked in the ‘70s and has been hiding in a sock drawer ever since. Whoever thought your playlists could provide an emotional safety net but still sound like they’re begging for a personality? Let’s take a stroll through your top artists. Billy Joel? What are you—a time traveler from 1985? Jim Croce? Really? Your streaming taste is struggling harder than a dad attempting to fit in at a college party. And don't even get me started on “Rex Orange County.” His music is like those awkward Tinder dates where you sweat through your shirt because you realize you both have nothing in common but a strong disdain for silence. Add “Kanye West” to that list, and it’s like you attempted to cover every corner of the emotional spectrum, but somehow only ended up attracting all the confusion and regret. Your most played songs perfectly encapsulate your identity—confused, nostalgic, and a little sad. “Large Football Stadium Crowd with Crowd Getting Loud”? Is that really a song, or did you accidentally download a sound effect from a fourth-rate sports movie? And “Let Her Go” by Passenger? Oh please, I can picture you crying into your pillow while pondering why no one will date a guy with a vinyl collection that could double as a '90s therapist's office. Seamus, it’s time for a Spotify rebrand—this isn't music; it’s a sad mixtape of your midlife crisis on repeat.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!