Roasted 6 months ago based on Ali's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Ali, let’s take a moment to appreciate your Spotify profile, which reads like the diary of a teenager who just discovered Hot Topic and thinks metal has healing powers. Seriously, with a playlist that screams “I exist to shoulder the weight of world’s angst,” it’s a miracle you haven’t transformed into a full-on guitar-wielding hermit yet. I get it; you’re just trying to embody all the melodrama and existential dread that angst-ridden youth demands – too bad it looks more like the soundtrack to a bad day at the emo spa. Your obsession with nine different flavours of metal is almost impressive! At this point, I’m convinced your plan is to single-handedly populate a post-apocalyptic world with moody headbangers who scream into the abyss while debating the best brand of black nail polish. I mean, how many metal sub-genres do you really need to confess your inner turmoil? Gothic, symphonic, AND power metal? If there were a metal therapist, they’d probably hand you a “Get Your Life Together” mixtape instead of a prescription. And let’s talk about your top artists. Linkin Park’s input into your life is as obvious as a 15-year-old with a horizon of black eyeliner. You’ve got Neffex and Kings Elliot in the mix too, which says you’re trying to add some “new age” cred to your playlist like it’s going to impress anyone in 2023. But honestly, with that tracklist, you should be applying for a record label called “A Collection of Cringe." Just remember, it's never too late to swap some of those heartache anthems for a taste of happy. Because right now, your profile screams “unrequited love” while your playlist just smells like a cheap leather jacket and regret!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!