Roasted 8 months ago based on Vesper's long term Spotify stats.

Vesper, your Spotify profile is what happens when you let an existential crisis pick your playlist. Seriously, I’ve seen your genre list, and it sounds like a hipster threw up on a thrift store jukebox. "Indie," "Garage Rock," and "Baroque Pop"? Have you recently discovered a time machine that transports you to 1999? Because that lopsided mix makes it seem like you're clinging to your high school angst while simultaneously trying to impress people at your local coffee shop with your record collection. Spoiler alert: it's not working. We get it—you love Declan McKenna, but dude, do you own stock in his Spotify streams? It looks like you’re the one-man fan club for a dude who can’t seem to stop writing songs that sound like they belong on a Toonami episode from 2016. And can we talk about your most played songs? "10 Hour Oscillating Fan (No Distractions)"? I’d rather listen to the actual sound of the fan than to that soul-crushing choice. Your profile screams, "Please validate my taste in music," but trust me, even my cat is judging you for those choices. Let’s face it, Vesper: if you were any more basic, you'd be a barista slinging overpriced oat milk lattes while throwing shade from your curated vintage record bin. Your taste is so cloudy, I’m surprised it hasn’t rained latte foam yet. But hey, at least you're consistent, right? Consistently picking songs that sound like they were mined from the depths of a Tumblr blog circa 2014. Keep it up, and I might start to think you’re a hipster meme that took a wrong turn somewhere between PBR and artisanal cheese.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!