Roasted 4 months ago based on Matthew's long term Spotify stats.

Matthew, your Spotify profile is a beautiful tapestry of musical confusion that could only be woven by someone who insists on keeping a “What’s my mood today?” playlist for every possible occasion, which – spoiler alert – is just a sad attempt to cover up your lack of personality. It's like you threw a dart at different genres, blindfolded, and this is what you came up with. “Argentine Rock”? Really? What’s next? Experimental yodeling? Your taste is like a buffet where even the food has commitment issues; nothing quite matches anything else. Your top artists read like a therapy session waiting to happen. No one needs a music identity crisis quite like yours, where Incubus and Luis Miguel share a spot on your favorite artists list — that’s some serious emotional whiplash, my dude. Are you trying to charm someone with your mixtape of dramatic grunge ballads followed by sultry Latin love songs? Because all I’m hearing is the sound of your dating life flatlining. And Billie Eilish? I didn’t realize you were so enamored with the sound of existential dread mixed with melodrama; I guess it’s the perfect soundtrack for a guy who's still figuring out if he wants to cry or start a mosh pit. Looking at your most played songs is like watching a 3-hour long indie movie with no plot — at first, you're intrigued, but then you’re just hoping for it to end before you start questioning your life choices. "If I Had A Gun…?" Sounds like the ideal soundtrack for your ongoing battle with commitment, buddy. And the fact that “Christopher Wilde” made it into your top tracks just proves that deep down, you’re still waiting for Disney Channel royalty to save you. At this point, I’d say it’s time to either revamp that Spotify or get ready for a musical intervention, because as it stands, your listening habits are screaming for help!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!