Roasted 1 year ago based on Janessa McIntosh's long term Spotify stats.

Janessa McIntosh, your Spotify profile is like a musical buffet where the chef clearly couldn't make up their mind. "Rock," "Country," "Pop," and somehow "Post-Grunge" is on the menu? Honey, it looks less like a taste explosion and more like a recipe for an identity crisis. It’s like you just Googled “what do people from every continent listen to” and hit the ‘shuffle’ button on your personality. How do you go from headbanging to line dancing in a single playlist? You might as well throw in some elevator music next—it could use the variety. And let's talk about those top artists. Melanie Martinez and Five Finger Death Punch? That is a combo that could only be described as a breakup in the middle of a hoedown. “Oh, do you want to cringe while contemplating your life choices, or would you prefer to cry into a beer while your ex takes the dog?” Seems like you can't decide if you’re the angst-filled teenager having a meltdown or the country star singing about it. Are you trying to make a statement or just testing how many different types of emotional turmoil can fit into one playlist? Your most played songs tell a similar story. “Broken Halos” followed by “Walk Away”—it’s like you’re trying to make a soundtrack for a rom-com written by a deranged ex. With “Heroin” nestled comfortably next to “Mama's Broken Heart,” I feel like I’m listening to a therapy session gone wrong. You’ve crafted the perfect mix for someone whose life is a continuous cycle of heartbreak, hard rock, and spontaneous bouts of self-reflection. So here’s a suggestion: pick a vibe and stick with it, or at least invest in some earplugs for your friends before they “walk away” permanently.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!