Roasted 23 days ago based on Apple's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, look, it's Apple—a Spotify profile that’s basically a one-way ticket to the weirdest part of the internet. With a lineup of genres that reads like the soundtrack to a live-action anime reboot that nobody asked for, how are you not the poster child for “Cancel Culture: Music Edition”? You’ve got J-Pop, Vocaloid, and Lo-Fi Indie all fighting for your attention like a bunch of over-caffeinated toddlers at a daycare. You’re out here claiming to love music, yet every time I see your playlist, I think, “Is this a vibe, or did I accidentally stumble into a badly curated Instagram filter?” Looking at your top artists, one might think you've just opened the Amazon Prime catalog for "Extremely Niche Aesthetic." You’ve got Mili on speed dial—no, really, are you sure she’s not your therapist? Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure there’s a silent agreement that if you have 5 songs from the same artist in your top played list, you should probably consider a full-blown intervention. Overly obsessed with J-Pop and anime collaborations, are you trying to convince us you’re a quirky indie kid, or are you just practicing to be the world's first air-guitarist at a cosplay convention? And let’s talk about that “most played” list. Congrats on making Mili your personal soundtrack; you’re officially one sad Spotify session away from her being your emergency contact. All the while, you cloak your mainstream artists like Radiohead and Kendrick Lamar—like you’re diversifying your playlist for the sake of sounding cultured. Newsflash: You can't just throw in a couple of reputable names and expect to magically be cool. You’re like a hipster art kid who’s only ever browsed the MoMA gift shop. So go ahead, keep jamming to your hyperpop—just remember, the rest of us will be silently judging you from the comfort of our “normal” playlists.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!