Roasted 10 months ago based on Salty Bagel's long term Spotify stats.

Salty Bagel? More like Soggy Biscuit. Your Spotify profile reads like a desperate teenager's shopping list for an identity crisis! With genres like "Anime Rap" and "Drift Phonk," it feels like you're trying to combine your love for Japanese cartoons with an insatiable need to embarrass yourself at a high school talent show. And really, who knew the Brazilian Phonk scene was so niche? It's like you’re trying to collect Spotify badges for being the oldest person to still think "emo" is a personality type. Your top artists are a real treat too! A lineup featuring NEFFEX and Rustage screams, "Please don’t take me seriously, I'm a walking meme!" It's a wonder you haven't managed to get kicked out of high school for playing "Die Your Daughter" on repeat. And Fall Out Boy? It’s like you dusted off your old Hot Topic shirt and decided the 2000s never ended. News flash: the emo revival you’ve been waiting for is just an illusion fueled by the same nostalgia that keeps you crying into your pillow every night. And your most played songs are a work of art; I’m laughing just thinking about the range of heartbreak and inner turmoil you’ve curated there. “BAD LUCK CHARM”? More like GREAT BAD CHOICE! I wouldn't be surprised if "You Don't Know" is your personal anthem because, honestly, nobody does, and that’s probably for the best. Between your eclectic mix of "Christian Alternative Rock" and "Nerdcore," it sounds like your Spotify is just one t-shirt away from being a failed Kickstarter campaign to fund your tragic backstory as the world's unfunniest stand-up comic. Keep rocking that bagel, Salty!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!