Roasted 11 months ago based on ari.‼️'s long term Spotify stats.

Ari, I have to hand it to you: your Spotify profile is more confused than a cat in a dog park. Seriously, “Bedroom Pop”? Do you even leave your room? Or is your life a never-ending musical that only plays moody tracks about the shadow under your bed? I half-expect to see “Sadness: The Musical” pop up next in your playlists, alongside a heartfelt ballad about the struggles of finding matching socks. And I can just picture you crying into a pillow while listening to a slowed-down remix of a song you probably thought was deep but is actually just noise with a trendy filter. Your top artists look like a lineup for a mid-tier indie festival where everyone wears ironically oversized sweaters and sips on oat milk lattes. This is the kind of lineup that would have even the most fervent hipster questioning their life choices. I mean, "BoyWithUke"? If I wanted to hear half-baked lyrics about heartbreak played by someone who can't even decide if they're a musician or a TikTok influencer, I'd just watch my neighbor's kid play his ukulele on the patio. And “Cigarettes After Sex”? I can only assume it’s the music choice of someone who’s seen too many rom-coms and believes brooding is a legitimate personality trait. And let's talk about your “Most Played Songs”—an assortment that screams “I’m trying to be different but I accidentally only followed trends.” "Green to Blue - Slowed + Reverbed" sounds like the title of a song that would play while I scroll through my life choices trying to decide if I should shower or binge more reality TV. Seriously, your playlist basically tells me you oscillate between overly emotional and mildly nostalgic, desperately wanting your Spotify to be a vibe when all it is, is your undying hope to appear artsy and enigmatic. Spoiler alert: it’s not working.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!