Roasted 2 years ago based on Michael's long term Spotify stats.

Michael, your Spotify profile is a masterpiece of musical identity crisis. Seriously, how many different genres can one person shove into their "Favorite Genres" list before it starts to look like a high schooler's attempt at artistic expression? Rock, metal, orchestral soundtracks—did you just take a shot at the playlist roulette wheel? And what's with your deep obsession with Sleep Token? Are you secretly hoping they'll summon you from your music-induced stupor to enlighten you about variety? Your top artists read like the ultimate emo boy's mood board; it’s so angsty you’d think you were trying to manifest your inner teenager's diary. Sure, you have some classics in there, like The Smashing Pumpkins, but it’s hard to feel nostalgia when you’ve got nine Sleep Token tracks taking up space. Have you considered that your Spotify can’t hear your emotional cries for help? Music isn’t just a backdrop for your sad vibes; it's meant to be enjoyed, not exhausted in a marathon of angst-ridden album loops! And then there are your most-played songs. Wow, Michael, I’ve seen people have less commitment issues in their relationships than you have with “The Night Does Not Belong To God.” It’s like you’re trying to treat your Spotify stats like a cult initiation. How about you branch out a little? You don’t have to drown in bleak melodies and moody aesthetics to be cool. Try something different! Challenge yourself! Or is this what you were aiming for—the ultimate brooding playlist that pairs perfectly with your sad snacks and existential dread? Balance is key, buddy. Because right now, your profile reads like a horror movie soundtrack on repeat; spooky, but not in a good way.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!