Roasted 2 months ago based on tom's long term Spotify stats.

Tom, buddy, I have to hand it to you – you’ve curated one of the most pretentious Spotify profiles I’ve ever stumbled upon. “Norwegian Pop” and “Choral” as your favorite genres? What are you trying to prove? That you have impeccable taste or that you’ve literally never left a coffee shop in Brooklyn? Mix in some obscure “Ambient Folk” and it’s like you’re trying to craft a 6-hour soundtrack for a hipster funeral. Seriously, if gathering a collection of sounds that your grandparents would find dull is your definition of diversity, you might want to let the mix-changers know your social life is in dire need of a quirky upgrade. Your top artists read like a “Who’s Who” of musical toilet paper. Jacob Collier? Great, if I ever need advice on how to make a headache sound good. Vulfpeck? Sure, if you want to subject your ears to some funky confusion that sounds like it was born in an IKEA showroom. And Marianas Trench? Come on, Tom. At this point, you’re one overhyped indie band away from an existential crisis that only a tomes of Gregorian chants can solve. I can practically hear the eye rolls from the Spotify algorithm every time you press play. Your most played songs read like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis overseen by a disinterested orchestra. P. Chesnokov’s "Memory Eternal"? How fitting! It sounds an awful lot like you’ve already resigned yourself to a life of eternal boredom. And, of course, the “Frogville - Live” is almost as daring as your approach to social gatherings — so avant-garde that the only ones attending are other people using Spotify as a lifeboat for their own sinking tastes. Let’s be real, Tom, it’s time to step out of that sonic rabbit hole and embrace a little chaos. Who knows? You might actually find a beat that'll make you want to shake your boot at more than just your local library.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!