Roasted 2 years ago based on Green Eggs & Sam's long term Spotify stats.

Welcome to the SoundCloud of sad kids who wear berets unironically and probably think they’re too cool for mainstream music. Your Spotify profile reads like the filler playlist on a late-night indie film, the type where nothing happens except more emotional crises and bizarre kitchen dances. You’ve got enough “POV: Indie” tracks to make a hipster shed a single tear in a dimly lit coffee shop. Seriously, whoever called it "Modern Rock" must’ve been listening to your playlist while hand-churning their organic almond butter – a genre with as much noise as your average ‘woke’ TikTok. If I had a dollar for every "Weirdcore" artist on your top list, I could probably invest in your therapy. Your love for “Indietronica” and “Modern Alternative Rock” says you’re trying to be unique, but honestly, you just sound like a basic Spotify rap sheet of someone whose idea of a wild night is finally committing to a full glass of kombucha. And let’s talk about “New Jersey Indie” – what, did you run out of genres and have to just pull from local band names? I half-expect your next favorite track to be “Not Your Average Bagel Shop DJ Set.” Your top artists look like a half-baked lineup for a college campus open mic night – very cute, but you’ll never shake the suspicion that your favorite band is actually just your friend's garage project that never took off. And let’s not forget your most played songs, where titles read like poems written on the backs of napkins after way too many craft beers. Here's a pro tip: when one of your most played songs is called "Monster," maybe it's time to step away from the playlist and face the real monsters lurking in your soul. Get it together, Sam; even a Green Egg has to hatch someday!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!