Roasted 2 years ago based on Dustin Aldridge's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Dustin Aldridge, your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to a millennial midlife crisis. Pop Punk? Metalcore? Is your life one long, sad TikTok montage? You’ve got more genres in your favorites than actual years of maturity under your belt. I get it though—between the eucalyptus-scented essential oils and your collection of vintage band tees, you’re just one acoustic cover away from becoming a full-blown influencer. At this point, can we just label your playlist “Panic! At the Spotify”? Now let’s talk about these top artists. You’ve got Wind Walkers taking the gold medal in your musical Olympics, and I’m honestly impressed you found a group that screams louder than your mom did when she caught you wearing eyeliner for the first time. Memphis May Fire and A Day To Remember? Buddy, your music taste could be a case study on how to exclusively enjoy bands with names that sound like they offer terrible legal advice. Andy Grammer? Really? There’s such a thing as a guilty pleasure, but that’s just a plea bargain to avoid confronting your questionable choices. And those most played songs—congratulations on achieving maximum “who hurt you?” vibes. A playlist full of tracks like “Dead Talk” and “Hearts at War:” do you actively seek out song titles that scream emotional instability, or is it just a charity for grown-ups who’re still stuck in high school? If I didn’t know better, I’d think your playlist was an elaborate ruse to court sympathy and free therapy sessions. Remember, Dustin, it’s never too late to put down the angst and pick up something fresh—like a genre that doesn’t require a safe space just to bathe in your feels!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!