Roasted 8 months ago based on Bridge's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Bridge, the cultural connoisseur we didn't ask for but got anyway. Your Spotify profile reads like the eclectic mixtape of someone who's given up on actual social interactions and instead found solace in anime soundtracks and obscure indie bands that even the artists haven't heard of. I can see it now—while everyone else is vibing to the latest bangers in the club, you’re sitting in a dark room with a body pillow, playlist titled "Emotional Support J-Rock," grappling with the existential dread of why nobody invites you to parties. Let's talk about those top artists of yours. "Vampire Weekend" and "Bad Suns" blend together like the mediocre high school chemistry project you were too stubborn to let your group get a passing grade on. Seriously, I get it; you want that “cool indie cred.” But when you throw in "Anime Rap" and "Math Rock," it’s clear you’ve accidentally stumbled into a musical black hole where high school band nerds and otakus are your primary audience. Honestly, the only thing more niche than your taste in music is your Tinder profile—it probably lists “appreciates handcrafted artisanal socks” as a top interest. And your most played songs? Bravo! You’ve somehow managed to build an entire playlist that consists of tracks with “Steve Lacy” making a cameo like he was a last-minute addition to a rager no one showed up to. Plus, throwing in “Enemy” from Arcane? If you’re trying to appeal to both League of Legends players and people who enjoy good music, you've missed the mark worse than a blindfolded archer at a county fair. At this point, your Spotify profile is so whacky it’s practically a tragicomedy waiting to happen. Keep playing those "Drums of Liberation" while we all do the L for your choices!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!