Roasted 1 year ago based on Ethan's long term Spotify stats.

Ethan, your Spotify profile is like a high school garage band that never graduated—endlessly trying to recapture the glory days of angst while remaining blissfully unaware that no one cares about your aversion to pop and your infatuation with music's darker sub-genres. With favorite genres like "Horrorcore" and "Dark Trap," it’s clear you somehow think listening to these will earn you street cred in a battle against middle-aged dads at a barbecue. Spoiler alert: the only thing grunge is grunge is your taste in music, and “Post-Grunge” just sounds like your self-esteem after doing karaoke. Looking at your top artists, it’s apparent you’ve curated a playlist of musicians who evidently have no idea how to handle their mental health. Seriously, the fact that "$uicideboy$" is your first choice makes me worry about your internet search history—are you trying to send us a cry for help or just looking for sympathy while rocking out to buddy-cop themes? I get it, the mix of Daryl Hall and death metal must feel like therapeutic chaos, but the only thing more chaotic is your love for “Hail to the King” right next to “Can't Stop”—it’s like you’re trying to raise a heavy metal army while still unsure if you should be using real drums or just tapping your feet. And let's talk about your most played songs. “Kill Yourself V”? Really? That title alone is a bold choice for someone who should probably be leaning more into the cheerful ballads of Hall & Oates. If you’re listening to “CLYDE (I Hope at Least One of My Ex-Girlfriends Hears This)” more than once, I think we’ve got some on-the-record insights about your relationship woes plastered into that playlist. Ethan, I suggest adding a few sunny tunes to balance out your playlist; the last thing we need is for your Spotify profile to resemble the soundtrack of a mid-life crisis or, worse yet, a bad horror movie.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!