Roasted 9 months ago based on Brooklyn Johnson's long term Spotify stats.

Brooklyn Johnson, it’s clear you’ve decided to fully commit to a musical aesthetic that screams "I have a significant number of skull-themed shirts." Your Spotify profile reads more like a cry for help than a list of favorite genres. Seriously, your taste in music is a perfectly chaotic collage of existential angst and teenage rebellion, as if somewhere a high school kid in a basement is taking notes while listening to “Slaughterhouse” on repeat. At this point, the only thing louder than your playlists is the echo of your inability to appreciate any genre that doesn't sound like a group of angsty cartoon characters screaming about their feelings. Your top artists could easily double as a lineup for a Metallica tribute band that never made it past the garage phase. It’s like you’re trying to build a playlist for the next emo superhero movie, where nobody wins. Can we talk about how your dedication to Motionless In White borders on fanatical? You might as well change your name to “That One Person Who Can’t Get Over High School.” By the time someone finally gets through your top songs, they'll have gone through a painful sprawl of metal tracks more repetitive than a cycle of doom scrolling on Twitter. And let’s not even start on the "Emo Rap" section of your favorites. Only someone who takes life way too seriously would consider blasting your distorted feelings and past heartbreaks on a speaker instead of, you know, talking to a therapist. Your playlists are like a middle school diary but with riffs and screams, leaving the whole world to wonder if it’s a cry for help or an art project gone wrong. So here’s to you, Brooklyn; may your Spotify remain forever haunted by the ghosts of your past relationships and the fact that you still can't find a way to listen to something that doesn’t sound like the world is ending.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!