Roasted 7 months ago based on Cris's long term Spotify stats.

Cris, your Spotify profile looks like a high school art project gone horribly wrong. “Electroclash”? Come on, can we please put that genre in a time capsule and call it a day? When your favorite genres list looks like the title of a hipster’s poetry book, it's almost impressive how much musical self-sabotage you've managed. You’ve got everything from Art Pop to Witch House, and yet you still somehow listen to “Classic Rock” like it's a safety blanket. You are the human embodiment of “I’ll take anything that sounds like a midlife crisis.” As for your top artists, it’s clear that you’re unsure of whether to dance in a club or weep softly into a cup of overpriced coffee. From The Strokes to 2hollis (who just sounds like a typo), you've curated a playlist that’s half "I'm too cool for the mainstream" and half "I peaked in college and can’t get over it.” You’ve got Kanye West rubbing shoulders with Snow Strippers, which honestly feels like the world’s worst rock festival lineup. At this point, your Spotify is about as cohesive as a toddler’s finger painting after a sugar rush. And then we get to your most played songs—what a wild ride! With tracks like "So What If I'm A Freak" and "Just Your Doll," you truly embody the spirit of an art student demanding validation at an awkward family gathering. I half expect your ‘Most Played’ to feature a song titled “Help, I Can’t Stop Listening to Myself Cry”. Your account should come with a warning: “Cris on Shuffle, enter at your own risk.” If anyone ever tells you that your music taste is eclectic, you might want to take it as the backhanded compliment it truly is—because it definitely sounds like a chaotic emergency waiting to happen.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!