Roasted 1 year ago based on Mari's long term Spotify stats.

Mari, your Spotify profile has more angst than a teenage emo kid at a family reunion. Seriously, the number of genres you’ve crammed into your favorites looks less like a carefully curated playlist and more like the sad diary of someone who got dumped by both their boyfriend and every single ray of sunlight. At this point, the only thing darker than your music taste is your soul. I’m surprised you don’t have a genre called “Crying in Your Room” with an album cover that features your reflection in the mirror. Let’s talk about your top artists for a second, shall we? If your life was on a movie poster, it would read, “A Love Story Between Mari and the Grim Reaper.” With bands like Cannibal Corpse and Alien Vampires, it’s no wonder you relate better to undead creatures than actual humans. What’s next? A song dedicated to your toaster for the emotional support it provided during your darkest brunches? If I had a dime for every time I heard “Fuck Off And Die” in your Most Played section, I’d be rich enough to hire a therapist to help you through whatever existential crisis led you to embrace such a quarter-life crisis playlist. And let’s not forget your top songs—a vivid tapestry of despair and goth-wannabe vibes. “Lesbian Nuns Suck Me Dry”? Really? Did you just throw darts at a board of random band names while shopping for a personality? Your playlist feels like a group therapy session for all the misunderstood outcasts who just couldn't find the “Add to My Sadness” button on their streaming apps. Remember, it’s okay to diversify; you can still enjoy a little Taylor Swift without abandoning your dark and brooding persona. Otherwise, I'm afraid you’ll be doomed to forever dance to the beat of your own funeral march.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!