Roasted 2 years ago based on Blartman's long term Spotify stats.

Blartman, huh? With a name like that, I half-expect you to show up on the "Most Likely to Get Stuck in a Vending Machine" award. Your Spotify plays sound like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis of someone who's trying way too hard to cling to their teenage angst. Oh sure, there’s your “rock” and “alternative metal,” but let’s not kid ourselves; beneath it all, you’ve got a playlist that says, “I peaked in high school and I’m okay with that.” It's a miracle you haven’t tattooed a “witty” band name across your forehead yet. Your favorite genres read like a desperate attempt to be edgy but just come off as a poorly constructed intro to a community college documentary on “The Struggles of Growing Up as a Nerd.” "Video Game Music" and "Orchestral Soundtrack"? Really? You’re one cringe away from a Justin Bieber phase—or worse: "Weird Al" remixes. Plus, I can’t believe you managed to squeeze in "Rap Metal" without any sense of irony—were you born in a dumpster behind a 90s Hot Topic, or are you just that committed to being the world's most uninspired Dungeons & Dragons bard? And what's with your top songs? I see an alarming amount of Jesper Kyd—realizing that “The Gauntlet” is the closest you’ll ever get to a real-life challenge must be quite the gut punch. How about a little diversity, my dude? Your playlist screams, “I'm here for the angst and a full season binge of ‘Doom Patrol,’ not actual social interaction.” I’ve seen more personality in a pack of stale gum than I see in your Spotify profile—at least the gum is transparent about its flavor!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!