Roasted 7 months ago based on Marlowe.Heiert's long term Spotify stats.

Marlowe, with a Spotify profile that’s a blender of every cliché genre imaginable, you’re like a musical buffet that leaves a lot to be desired. Pop? Check. Country? Double check. Indie Folk? Oh, you must be one pretentious stargazer with a beard that just screamed “I own too many flannel shirts.” Seriously, your playlist looks like the background music for a cheesy rom-com where the lead character has an existential crisis in a field of daisies. How many sad acoustic covers of Nickleback songs did you have to look up to curate this multi-genre mess? Your top artists read like a high school freshman's mood board after watching “A Star is Born.” Taylor Swift? Sure, everyone loves a good heartbreak anthem, but you need to stop taking her breakup advice like she’s your personal therapist. And what’s with the obsession with Dominic Fike? You’ve got more Fike than a bakery at a gluten-free convention. At this point, his music should come with a warning: “May cause excessive eye-rolling as you struggle to admit you can’t relate.” As for your most played songs, wow, talk about a vault of questionable decisions! “Why” by Dominic Fike is a fitting title because it perfectly encapsulates the thoughts of anyone stumbling upon your profile. And let’s not even get started on “Smooth Operator.” If that’s what you think romantic smooth-talking sounds like, I’m ready to bet your dating life could use a serious remix. So here’s a challenge, Marlowe: try expanding those horizons a bit! Who knows, you might just discover a whole new world of music—and maybe—your actual taste in people.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!