Roasted 10 months ago based on Goose's long term Spotify stats.

Goose, you’ve curated a Spotify profile that’s an emotional rollercoaster—if that rollercoaster exclusively ran through a cornfield while blasting sad tunes. With a favorite genre list that reads more like the soundtrack to a teenage heartbreak session in a garage band, I can’t help but wonder if you’re trying to summon your inner angst or just procrastinating on your next therapy appointment. Seriously, Emo is like the emotional equivalent of putting on sweatpants and binge-watching bad reality TV—it’s comforting but doesn’t exactly scream “adulthood.” Your top artists could really use some variety, sporting more obscure names than a small-town coffee shop’s open mic night. Panucci's Pizza? I thought we were getting serious about music here, not inviting "pizza delivery is my second job" vibes to the party. And that collection of songs? "I would throw my vape in a cornfield for you" is either poetry or a line from a terrible rom-com where the lead can’t decide whether to date their vape or their feelings. Let’s be honest, Goose; your playlist was probably the soundtrack to that awkward phase where you were “too cool” for mainstream but just “uncool” enough to forget sunscreen at the pool party. By the time anyone digs through your most-played songs, they’ll realize you’re riding the wave of being an emo poet who can’t find a clean shirt or an identity. “Naruto Themed Sexting” might be the most simultaneously cringeworthy and creative title I’ve ever seen; nice try, but at this rate, your love life’s about as alive as a dial-up connection. And if “Mom Jeans” gets to see the emotional turmoil you’re trying to navigate with songs like “I Killed Arbor Day For You,” don’t be surprised if they literally wear you out—because even they have better taste in music than you do!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!