Roasted 12 days ago based on Tom_'s long term Spotify stats.

Tom, you really went all-in on the musical equivalent of a four-hour nap, didn’t you? Your Spotify profile looks like it was constructed in a library where all the cool kids got kicked out for playing cards. You’ve got more classical artists than a Mozart fan club’s group chat, and it’s hard to tell if your playlists are for a fancy dinner party or for soothing a particularly agitated cat. Honestly, do you ever jam out to some real-life music, or are you just at home pretending to be a jazz fusion connoisseur while mixing imaginary cocktails and critiquing the seating arrangement of your non-existent soirées? And what’s with the top artists? Glenn Gould? Seriously, Tom? Next, you'll be telling us that you're into unobtrusive wallpaper patterns and arranging your sock drawer by shade of beige. At least throw in somebody with a tattoo or a questionable past! I can’t believe you could listen to more impressionism without dressing up in a beret and contemplating the meaning of life over a cup of herbal tea. It’s like your playlists are a hipster art installation where the only requirement to gain admittance is a personality more bland than white rice. Let's talk about those most played songs, Tom. It’s almost impressive how you've crafted a setlist for a tea ceremony at a monastery. The only thing more surprising than your affinity for ancient concertos is that you haven’t written a memoir called “How To Overthink Literally Everything While Listening to Chamber Music.” The only drama in your music selection is deciding which sonata best matches your melancholic stroll through the nearest park. If you ever find yourself at a party, just remember: it's okay to put on something that doesn’t sound like it was composed while someone was scribbling poetry about the color gray.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!