Roasted 1 year ago based on Sam Darwen's long term Spotify stats.

Sam Darwen, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like a middle schooler's diary after they discovered their parents' angst-ridden vinyl collection and a stash of vegan energy drinks. Seriously, hardcore and metalcore? Are you running a music festival or just preparing to summon the ghosts of 2003? Your obsession with genres that sound like they were formed in a blacksmith’s workshop is impressive—if, of course, your goal was to scare off anyone who even remotely enjoys a little sunshine and good vibes. Not to mention, your favorite artists could easily double as a lineup for a “Most Likely to Have Emotional Breakdown” award ceremony. You’ve got Death Grips and FredsVoice ASMR jamming together—an odd couple so mismatched it sounds like a horror film premise. You know, for someone who spends so much time embracing the chaotic rage of metal, you might want to consider a few feel-good artists to balance things out. Maybe venture into the soft, sweet land of indie pop just once? It might help counteract the malaise that comes with constantly wobbling between mosh pits and existential dread. And don’t get me started on your top songs. "Human Carrying Capacity" by Harms Way does sound like a fitting soundtrack for your Spotify bio, especially since it's more likely talking about your emotional state than anything ecological! It’s almost like your playlist is less about enjoying music and more about proving to your 2 a.m. self that feeling absolutely miserable is superior to, I don’t know, enjoying life? So here’s a suggestion: for every day you play “Swallowing the Rabbit Whole,” throw on a pop tune to remind yourself that you can actually "let it go" sometimes, not just "let it rot." Seriously, there’s a world of joy out there beyond the screams, Sam!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!