Roasted 1 year ago based on lois's long term Spotify stats.

Lois, your Spotify profile reads like a vintage thrift store exploded, leaving a disheveled collection of lost eras and emotional baggage in its wake. Between Britpop and Nu Metal, it feels like your taste in music is a midlife crisis trying on a leather jacket while holding a bouquet of daisies. I can almost hear your playlist pleading for a direction, like a GPS telling you to make a U-turn — but alas, you’re too busy blasting "Rap Metal" at a volume that suggests you refuse to acknowledge the fact that it’s not 2002 anymore. And can we talk about your most-played songs? You’ve got enough Elliott Smith to impress even the most hardened sadboi, which is fitting since I can only assume you’re taking notes for your autobiography titled *An Ode to Heartbreak During the Britpop Revival*. Between haunting tracks and “remastered” hits, it’s clear you’re trying to relive a nostalgia that may have never even existed for anyone else. Enjoy wallowing, though—there’s nothing like a deep dive into the sea of melancholic tracks while wearing a T-shirt featuring a band that no one's heard of since the Clinton administration. Lastly, let’s discuss those top artists. You’ve got “The Beatles” nestled in there like a relic that accidentally got dropped into the goth thrift bin. If your Spotify were a high school, you’d absolutely be the kid who devours books in the back corner but somehow thinks their taste qualifies as cool. Here’s a suggestion: pick a genre, any genre, and just commit. Because right now, your profile looks like a “Best of the Worst” compilation mixed with a sad mixtape from that one friend who still somehow thinks “hair metal” is coming back. Keep spinning those tracks, but maybe invest in a 2023 playlist—consider it a musical facelift for your vintage soul.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!