Roasted 9 months ago based on alyssa's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, “s,” what a rich tapestry of musical mediocrity you've woven. Emo, pop-punk, and bedroom pop? It's like you’re curating the soundtrack for the world's most emotionally stunted sleepover. Your playlist reads like it was assembled by an angsty teenager who just discovered eyeliner and is still trying to figure out how to use it without crying. Let’s be honest: if your favorite genres were any more niche, they’d come with a side of avocado toast and a complex about not living up to your parents' expectations. And those top artists? Sweetie, "Ricky Montgomery" is mentioned so many times in your list that I’m beginning to wonder if he might need a restraining order. You practically have a memorial playlist for his songs, which I can only assume are all variations on “My heart is broken, please call an emotional plumber.” It's a safe bet that if the internet had a “forever alone” section, your Spotify account would be its reigning champion. Even Taylor Swift would roll her eyes and think, “Damn, this person really needs a hug.” Lastly, "Fantastic" from Arcane? Really? I see where your soul is hanging out – in a sad corner of the multiverse where even cartoon characters are questioning your life choices. If your soundtrack were a high school, it would earn the title “Most Likely to Be Seen Crying Alone in the Cafeteria.” So here’s a suggestion: maybe mix it up a little. Throw in some reggae or polka, and give those poor emo ballads a break. Or else, at this rate, you might need a pity playlist instead of your current one!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!