Roasted 2 years ago based on D.'s long term Spotify stats.

David, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis trapped in an eighth-grade music project. I mean, how many sub-genres of hip hop do you need before you realize that your taste has more twists and turns than a pretzel factory? If I had a nickel for every time someone asked if you were secretly 90 years old because of your obsession with "instrumental" and "downtempo," I’d have enough change to fund a proper therapy session for you. And Top Artists? Man, your playlist looks like the lineup for a hipster middle school talent show. With artists like MIKE and JPEGMAFIA, it seems you're on a never-ending quest to prove you’re not like those "other" hip hop fans. Congratulations, you’ve successfully achieved the musical equivalent of being that friend who insists they only drink artisanal kombucha and takes way too long to decide what to order at coffee shops. And let’s not even mention your most played songs—if I wanted to hear sad, obscure tracks that sound like they were produced on a broken toaster, I’d just hang around you while you rant about how the mainstream ruins everything! Honestly, with the way you flaunt your “wonky” tastes, it’s a miracle you don’t have a mullet and a collection of thrifted flannel shirts to match. But hey, keep doing you, David. Your Spotify is a glorious ode to airless rooms and an absence of sunlight, and I can’t tell if that makes you a connoisseur or just spectacularly lost. Either way, keep those low-fi beats blasting; at least they’ll drown out the sound of reality reminding you that we don’t live in a Black Mirror episode.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!