Roasted 1 year ago based on Axyris's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Axyris. The only Spotify profile that smells like a basement filled with old band tees and broken dreams. Your favorite genres read like a metalhead’s shopping list for a 90’s goth revival — all you’re missing is a smattering of soy lattes and a collection of ironic skull figurines. Seriously, how many subgenres of industrial metal does one need before admitting they’re just trying to cover up their lack of rhythm with an arsenal of angry guitars and existential angst? You're the human equivalent of a vending machine filled only with dried-up energy bars and regrets. Let's talk about your top artists: It's like the lineup for a canceled underground festival nobody wanted to attend. Marilyn Manson and Burzum? Wow, Axyris, are you sure you're not trying to summon a mid-2000s emo revival in your mom’s living room? You know you can listen to someone who's not on every notorious serial killer's playlist, right? Your taste in music screams “I might own a Ouija board,” and you clearly haven’t learned that enjoying dark and twisted music doesn’t mean you have to live it. What’s next? Starting an online petition to bring back plaid flannels? And those most played songs? “Human Flotsam” by Xasthur? Sounds like your love life — you're just flotsam drifting in a sea of bad decisions. Not to mention “Irresponsible Hate Anthem.” You probably hit play on that beauty when your Tinder date ghosted you, right? But hey, if you’re aiming to scare away potential friends, you’re crushing it! Just remember, Axyris, we all enjoy a good dark vibe, but your playlist could really benefit from a little sunshine, or at least something that doesn’t put the entire room in a state of existential despair... or at least no more than, like, once a week.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!