Roasted 11 months ago based on :3's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look who it is – “:3” – an audiophile whose taste is as confused as a cat in a dog park. Your Spotify profile reads like the world’s worst mixtape for a teenager who just had their heart broken by the concept of social interaction. Emo, musicals, and bedroom pop? That sounds less like a listening experience and more like you’re one bad breakup away from writing an album called “Crying in My Room with the Curtains Drawn.” Seriously, if your songs were any more melancholy, they’d sprout a set of laundry in that sad excuse of a bedroom. Your top artists could lead anyone to believe that you moonlight as an angst-ridden theater kid who spends their nights playing “Who Can Cry the Hardest” over avocado toast. Jorge Rivera-Herrans and Bo Burnham? Is it too late to enroll you in a support group for those who can't choose between feeling emotions and cracking jokes? I mean, come on – the only way your music tastes could scream “I need therapy” any louder is if you started listening to your own Spotify playlist on loop while scrolling through old Myspace profiles in the dark. As for your most played songs, I couldn't tell if you’re a brooding indie kid in a cabin or a confused musical theater major just trying to find your identity. “Guns and Ships” followed by “Miss Wanna Die”? That’s like saying you want to win an Oscar for best tragedy and then accidentally auditioning for a rom-com. Let’s just hope your Spotify Wrapped ends with the begrudging conclusion that you need to spice things up or risk becoming the poster child for the emo revival that no one asked for.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!