Roasted 1 year ago based on Alex:R's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Alex, your Spotify profile reads like a trip advisor review of a coffee shop no one asked to visit. The sheer saturation of "Folk" and "Indie" genres is impressive, yet somehow, it encapsulates a sound so sad even the coffee beans would weep. Seriously, how long did it take you to curate this playlist of existential crises and questionable life choices? If you wanted to sum up the essence of Midwestern angst, you could’ve just stuck a sign on your bedroom wall instead of torturing us with the audio equivalent of sliced bread gluten - it’s not exactly essential listening. And who are we kidding with your top artists? "Crywank"? That's not a band; that's your personal biography. It’s like you went out of your way to collect the most obscure sounds imaginable, as if you’re on a mission to be the world’s most uninvited guest at every party. And let’s not even get into that "Mumford & Sons" guilty pleasure… it’s like you’re trying to be ironic while accidentally revealing your taste in music peaked back in 2010. You don't even need Spotify recommendations; you could get all your music fix from a basement and a beanie. But the cherry on top? Your most played songs are straight-up anthems for people who spend too much time contemplating why they even exist, all while absentmindedly texting their therapist. You’ve chosen “The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future” as a favorite, but honey, judging by your selection, it sounds more like you’d rather float aimlessly in that sea instead of facing the fact that you have "Lovejoy" songs on repeat at your age. Maybe it’s time for an intervention before your Spotify becomes a 12-step program for the emotionally testy?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!