Roasted 2 years ago based on eli's long term Spotify stats.

Eli, your Spotify profile is like a dark, oscillating vortex of angst and broken dreams, rivaling the emotional depth of a teenage goth’s diary. “Post-Grunge”? Please tell me the grunge wasn’t already enough for your emo soul! I didn’t know “depressive black metal” was a genre – I thought that was just what happens when you listen to your playlist while staring into an abyss. Seriously, I’m half-expecting to find some sad clown crying in the corner, mourning lost love while smashing a guitar that looks like it’s seen more dark times than the average superhero movie. Your top artists read like the setlist for a funeral—great for tragedy, terrible for dinner parties! “Children Of Bodom” and “Rob Zombie”? What a fantastic way to let everyone know you still haven’t accepted 2010 as a valid year. And can we talk about the gem “Jesus Loves Junkies”? That’s the kind of band that makes you think, “Listen, I love being tortured, but I draw the line at my playlists.” Next thing you know, you’ll be adding “Screams of Despair” to your playlist, and it’ll be like a musical rendition of all your life choices coming to haunt you. Now, let’s not skip over your most played songs. I don’t know who “Mäleficentt” is, but the name alone suggests you’re navigating life like it’s a low-budget horror flick. If the Capcom Sound Team is what gets you out of bed in the morning, you might want to consider some professional help. Burying the light doesn’t seem like a good life strategy, Eli! How about we add some, you know, *happy* music to that lineup? Or do you just want your Spotify profile to be the soundtrack while you stare mournfully at your own reflection in the dark?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!