Roasted 9 months ago based on des's long term Spotify stats.

Des, your Spotify profile is like an identity crisis on shuffle. With a favorite list that looks like a world tour for a “Pop Culture Refugee,” it’s a miracle your musical taste didn’t drown in its own eclecticism! K-Pop, Mandopop, C-Pop – it's like you took "Dancing with the Stars" and decided to invite every genre represented by a country flag, but forgot to ask them to bring their A-game. And noise music? Really? When did you decide, "Hey, I want to feel like I'm being electrocuted while listening to music"? Your top artists are a wild mashup that screams, “I’m just here for the catchy hooks and dramatic breakups!” You’ve got Taylor and Jay Chou topping the charts, which is like pairing fine wine with instant ramen. And let’s not even start on the fact that “Stray Kids” and “The 1975” are both on your list – it’s as if your musical taste is trying to distract us from that one guilty pleasure you keep playing on repeat (cough, Taylor Swift). Everyone knows that every time you hit “play,” a basic millennial sobs into their pumpkin spice latte. If your most played songs were a high school yearbook, you'd be the kid still desperately trying to find a prom date between Conan Gray’s heart-wrenching ballads and SEVENTEEN’s peppy anthems. “Alley Rose” followed by “Cheers to Youth”? What are you trying to convey — that love is a beautiful disaster or just a series of awkward teen encounters? With “All Too Well (10 Minute Version),” we get it: you enjoy dragging out the pain. Maybe next time, just stick to one genre and save us from a musical identity crisis that sounds like a confused playlist compiled by an indecisive AI.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!