Roasted 1 year ago based on Paulie's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Paulie, your Spotify profile is like an episode of an artsy, late-night talk show that got canceled halfway through the first season. "Art Pop," "K-Pop," and "Hyperpop"? Who do you think you are, an avant-garde DJ at a hipster coffee shop trying to impress a crowd of irony-loving teenagers? It’s like you’re in a love triangle with a coffee grinder and a VHS tape of “Tokyo Drift”! Throw in “Chamber Pop” and “Baroque Pop,” and it becomes clear you're just one vintage vinyl away from going full-on pretentious monocle-wearing hipster. Your top artists read like a list of indie bands that never got out of the garage—if garage sales were a musical genre. Sufjan Stevens? Sure, he’s great for feeling feelings while staring at your ceiling, but how are you simultaneously bumping Stray Kids and Ghost? Are you having a midlife crisis at 25? And don’t even get me started on your most-played songs. “Hall of Fame”? More like “Hall of Shame.” We’re all rooting for you, Paulie, but if “Got Me Started” was your anthem, that might explain why you can’t seem to get off your couch! Step it up, Paulie, your music tastes are like a buffet of “I’m Still Figuring It Out.” You’ve got a playlist more confused than a kid who just discovered avocado toast. Balancing “Death with Dignity” and “Superstar - Hollywood Royalty Remix” is less of a spectrum and more of an emotional rollercoaster that broke down midway through, leaving you hanging somewhere between existential dread and drag brunch. So, how about this? Just pick a lane—otherwise, the only concert you’ll be attending is the one that plays in your head while you’re alone, scrolling through TikTok during “me time.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!