Roasted 1 year ago based on Anakin Dela Cruz's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Anakin Dela Cruz, or should I just call you “Taylor’s Biggest Stan”? Your Spotify profile reads like a breakup letter from your love life, filled with melodrama and more twists than a musical plotline. With “Mine (Taylor’s Version)” blasting in the background, it's almost like you think she’s your therapist—and judging by your playlist, you clearly need one. Seriously, are you sure you’re not just auditioning for a role in the next heart-wrenching musical? Between your obsession with OPM and P-pop, it’s like you’re dodging musical genres like they’re your exes. You’re over here declaring love for “Harana” and “Kundiman,” but your top tracks suggest you find solace in the arms of every female pop star instead. “Anti-Hero”? More like “Anti-Social,” because if you had an ounce of self-awareness, you'd realize that Taylor has a song for *everyone*—including you on your saddest days. The fact that “Do I Wanna Know?” made it to your top is hilariously ironic because your track record in romance suggests you have no idea what you actually want. Are you sure you're not just an emotional chef cooking up a hearty stew of confusion? And let’s not forget that eclectic mix of styles in your favorite genres. Pop Punk and Kundiman in the same breath? That’s like saying you enjoy pizza with a side of balut. Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, you’re not a “musical genius,” but rather a human Spotify roulette that landed on “wow, this is a mess”? If your love life and your Spotify choices were both books, they would be one giant anthology of "What Not to Do." Keep streaming, my friend, but let’s hope your taste evolves faster than your love life.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!