Roasted 2 years ago based on gabe's long term Spotify stats.

Gabe, your Spotify profile reads like the playlist you’d put on at a hipster funeral. It’s almost as if you compiled a soundtrack for an existential crisis while sipping on oat milk lattes. Did you really think combining “Stomp And Holler” with “Anime Lo-Fi” would give you some kind of musical identity? Newsflash: it’s just a one-way ticket to a personal brand that screams “I go to farmer’s markets to buy artisanal soap.” Your top artists are a bizarre mix of the sublime and the obscure, showcasing your complete disregard for anything remotely mainstream. Hozier and Tyler, The Creator somehow made the cut alongside what appears to be an obscure Japanese composer. Are you curating sounds for the underground coffee shop that only serves avocado toast made by certified hipsters? And Samuel Kim? I get it, you love anime, but let’s be real—no amount of lo-fi beats can cover up the fact that your personality is as flat as a character with a bad arc. The most played songs on your profile read like a soundtrack for someone who spends their time mediating between being deeply introspective and taking three-hour-long baths while contemplating what it means to exist in a capitalist society. “Aquarium Sounds for Sleep”? Really, dude? Do you also have a collection of white noise tracks to announce to the world that yes, you are in touch with your feelings but are also ready to catch some Zs next to some fish? For the love of all things musical, please switch it up before your Spotify wraps up and ends up recommending you whale calls next year!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!