Roasted 2 years ago based on Parrot Pirate Records's long term Spotify stats.

Welcome to Parrot Pirate Records, the only Spotify profile that could double as a cautionary tale about what happens when a synth-pop enthusiast has too much time, a $12 thrift shop turntable, and a morbid fascination with the brooding beauty of the '80s. Seriously, your taste in music is like a bad haircut—everyone notices it, and it's painful to witness. I mean, how many times can you listen to “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” before you start to think it isn’t just a song but your personal life’s soundtrack? Looking at your genre list feels like a historian’s version of "Who Wore It Best?" as you seem to be the rare breed of hipster who time-traveled straight from a punk rock dystopia, but forgot to pack a personality or even an identity. You’ve got more subgenres than friends, and while "New Romantic" might get you some sympathy at a coffee shop, it also screams, "Please, interview me for an essay titled 'How to Never Get Laid Again!’" Don’t even get me started on your favorite artists—Morrissey is fine and all, but let’s cut the crap: a toe-tapping good time this is not! And the tracklist? If I have to listen to “Hand in Glove” one more time, I might just start clawing my own ears off. Bravo on giving The Smiths more love than they ever wanted—it’s like you’re using them to disguise your lack of emotional stability. To be honest, your top songs list could easily be the soundtrack to a high school drama club’s poorly executed production of “How to Look Depressed on Stage.” So congratulations, Parrot Pirate Records, you’ve officially won the award for Spotify’s Most Likely to Get Dumped While Listening to ‘This Charming Man’. Keep striving to be the life of the sadboy party!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!