Roasted 2 years ago based on Em's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Em, the self-proclaimed connoisseur of "Modern Rock," which is just a polite way of saying you enjoy pretending your Spotify is a hipster coffee shop's playlist that lost a fight with a dictionary. Seriously, your taste is so niche that even hipsters are rolling their eyes like, “Whoa, chill with the obscure genres, we get it, you drank cold brew before it was cool.” With a list that includes more "Moderns" than a suburban dad's '97 Ford, one could believe you’re just trying to cover all your bases in case you accidentally stumble into the wrong type of basement party. Your top artists look like the ultimate mood board for a high school emotional crisis. It's like you sat down to pick songs for your personal soundtrack and accidentally left it on shuffle while crying over your last existential crisis. Muse and Fall Out Boy—classic picks for someone still wondering if they peaked in high school, while the only thing they’ve actually committed to is a love affair with an unrequited crush on their former emo phase. And “Rainbow Kitten Surprise”? Come on, that's just the universe telling you to embrace your chaotic side and possibly adopt a cat named "Tragedy." Then we have your most played songs, a collection that sounds like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis for teenagers. "Equip Sunglasses" by Hot Mulligan? Is that your battle cry for when people ask for your Spotify username? It’s not so much about being stylish as it is about avoiding the glaring truth: no one wants to listen to your playlist where tragedy meets questionable life choices. Keep embracing those “Permanent Waves” as you ride the tide of musical confusion, Em—just know your profile has made more questionable choices than someone trying to explain why they find 'bumble' a better dating app than 'Tinder.'

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!