Roasted 9 months ago based on Aly's long term Spotify stats.

Alysha, your Spotify profile is like a hipster thrift store exploded—so many genres crammed in there that even your playlist is questioning its identity. K-Pop and garage rock? I bet you’re the only person legally allowed to play music at a party while simultaneously creating a mid-life crisis. "Noise Music"? Sweetie, that’s just your cat knocking over the trash can while you meditate to “dream pop.” You must be a real party starter, if the party's been invited to "what's that sound?" instead of the actual jam. Your top artists are like a resume for someone who wants to be quirky but ends up looking like the soundtrack of an existential crisis. Stray Kids and Billie Eilish? Sounds like you're trying to impress a high school sophomore while simultaneously yearning for the dark and moody vibes of Radiohead. And let's talk about “Cigarettes After Sex”—those guys are the perfect soundtrack if you're aiming for "I just binge-watched my third season of sad anime" vibes. It’s like your music tastes are a high-stakes game of “who can be the most tortured.” And let’s address your most played songs; honey, I hope you're keeping a box of tissues handy because it looks like you're really going through it. “Romantic Homicide” is practically a theme song for your love life, and with track names like "Let You Break My Heart Again" and "Falling Behind," it’s clear you've mistaken deep emotional wounds for a personality. If I were a therapist, I’d need a vacation just listening to your playlist! So here’s to you, Alysha—keeping melancholy alive while auditioning for the roles of the world’s saddest indie band. Rock on, my emotional friend!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!