Roasted 2 months ago based on John Kline's long term Spotify stats.

John Kline, your Spotify profile is a beautiful disaster like a train wreck—but, like, a really special train wreck where the conductor is having an existential crisis and the cargo is just full of emotional baggage. With a musical taste that swings from “I’m sad and angry” to “I’m sad and confused,” it’s a miracle you manage to keep a straight face while claiming that “trap metal” is a legitimate genre. The only thing more chaotic than your playlists is trying to explain why anyone would willingly subject themselves to "breakcore"—what are you hoping to achieve, John? A soundtrack for your next emotional breakdown? And let’s talk about these artists, shall we? “Lil Darkie” has more tracks on your most played list than actual personality traits you’ve displayed in real life. Honestly, the only thing more predictable than your top artists is a high school band that covers “Teenage Disaster” at every school assembly. Your love for such a motley crew of musicians really showcases the vibrant tapestry of “I’m still trying to understand who I am.” Seriously, if being part of SPIDER GANG means you need therapy, I’d demand a refund on that subscription. With each of your favorite genres, it’s evident you’re just throwing darts at a wall labeled “Cringe” and seeing what sticks. “Anti-folk” and “folk punk”—is this a musical taste or did you take a wrong turn and wind up at the hipster bingo night? Bedroom pop? Please, we all know you don’t pop out of bed until noon, clutching your anxiety like it’s a life jacket. Do yourself a favor and add a genre to your list called “Choice Regret,” because that’s all I hear every time I hit play on your profile. Keep it up, John; your Spotify Wrapped isn’t just a musical summary, it's a delightful glimpse into your ongoing search for a coherent identity. Good luck with that!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!