Roasted 1 month ago based on David's long term Spotify stats.

Hey David, looking at your Spotify profile makes me think you’ve confused your music taste with a list of ingredients for a depressive smoothie. Who knew “Rap,” “Emo Rap,” and “Sad Sierreño” could be combined to create the world’s saddest playlist? You could launch a support group for people who enjoy their feelings as much as they enjoy ear bleeding bass drops and crying into their flannels. Bravo! Your musical choices are like a layer cake of angst—one sad genre upon another, with a sprinkle of downtempo for that sweet melancholy finish. And let’s talk about those top artists, shall we? With a lineup like XXXTENTACION, $uicideboy$, and The Weeknd, I’d be worried if your life was a little too happy. Your Spotify algorithm must think it’s running a mid-life crisis support program “for those who enjoy wallowing in their own melodramatic sorrow.” Drake and Kanye are like the ridiculous uncles of rap at your family reunion, awkwardly trying to blend in with the goth kids. Newsflash, buddy: it’s not emo unless you’re hiding in your room and throwing yourself a pity party! But your most played songs really take the cake! “campfire song”? More like campfire of tears—who do you think you are, the offspring of a sad teenager and a hipster owl? You’ve made it clear that you love music that sounds like it’s getting ready to audition for a movie soundtrack about heartbreak and missed opportunities. So, buckle up, David! Your Spotify profile is less about discovering new music and more about gathering the world’s smallest emo mosh pit to collectively shed tears over all the bad decisions you’ve made.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!