Roasted 3 months ago based on (*^- ^)'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh boy, where do we even start with this eclectic mess of a Spotify profile? With a name like *(*^- ^)*, it’s like you’re trying way too hard to be cute when we all know you’re the person who still clings to their Myspace page. Your music taste reads like a blend between a middle schooler’s crush playlist and a hipster coffee shop's vibe check. I mean, K-Pop and Christian Pop? The only thing you’re missing is an album called "Songs for Sad Cats" to really round out your confused identity crisis! Your top artists look like they got together for a last-minute jam session before everyone wandered off to their TikTok feeds. I can’t believe you’ve got both The Beatles and "wave to earth" on the same list, like are you trying to create a genre of music that confuses everyone? And "beabadoobee"? The only reason that name is trending is because it’s fun to say after a few too many drinks. Your entire playlist sounds like a desperate attempt to impress someone who thinks indie is overrated but krumped through Jazzercise. Do they even know you’re still playing shuffle on a playlist titled “Songs to Cry Alone” while desperately trying to act like an urbanite? Your most played songs are a full-blown peek into your emotional rollercoaster: "NOT CUTE ANYMORE" followed by "I Wish You Love”? Honestly, you really should just change your profile to "Sensitive Soul Seeking Validation" or, better yet, "I Should Probably Get a Cat.” With that listening history, I give it a month before you join an online support group of other people who also play "Winter Wonderland" in the swing of summer just to feel something. Congratulations! Because with taste this scattered, you’re not just a music lover; you're officially the EQ of emotional discomfort!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!