Roasted 15 days ago based on CALEB's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Caleb, a man of exquisite taste and a Spotify playlist that looks like it was curated by a very confused teenager. Your love for "Alternative Metal" and "Hyperpop" is a strange marriage not even the most seasoned wedding planners could make sense of. It’s as if you walked into a record store, rolled a joint of every genre available, and hit shuffle. Your music selection is essentially a chaotic playlist for an existential crisis – it’s like a therapy session that goes from screaming into a void to suddenly feeling fabulous at a rave. I’m not saying it’s horrible, but if I were to describe it in one word, I’d say “confused.” Your top artists are a treasure trove of “so bad it’s good” sounds – if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you’re gearing up for a career as a DJ for failed parties. Between the hard-hitting, emotional drama of "Evanescence" and the delightful chaos of "Mindless Self Indulgence," it’s like you’re trying to cover all your bases for when you inevitably spiral down into a pit of despair or need a sugary rush of high-pitched autotune. And let’s be honest, your artist choices scream “I might be going through something” louder than a social media influencer on a breakdown spree. Bravo on the diversity; too bad it feels like a competition to see which genre can drown itself in the loudest chaos possible. And please, let’s take a moment to appreciate your most played songs. “Going Under” by Evanescence? Classic Caleb, going full emo while trying to justify your life choices through haunting vocals. And then there’s “Put A Little Umph In It” by Jagged Edge, which seems to hint that you’re desperately hoping to maintain some semblance of class amidst a musical battlefield of angst and debauchery. The eclectic choices are almost impressive, mixing the heartbreak of metal with the sugar-high of hyperpop like a poor DJ who dropped all his vinyl and decided to go with whichever record got picked up first. Seriously, if there’s a playlist for an identity crisis, I think we just found it.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!