Roasted 2 days ago based on !!'s long term Spotify stats.

So, here we have the Spotify profile of someone who clearly navigates through life like a lost kitten in a thrift store: indecisive, niche, and just trying to appear deeper than a puddle. With a collection of genres that reads like a hipster's shopping list, it’s safe to say that your music taste is the sonic equivalent of a participation trophy. Seriously, “Witch House”? Are you casting spells or just conjuring up sad feelings over your unfulfilled dreams? Either way, I’d rather listen to a blender on full speed than sift through your playlists again. Your top artists sound like they all got together for a group therapy session: “Hello, I’m Billie, and I write sad songs for my existential dread.” If I had a dollar for every time one of your faves whined about heartbreak, I'd have enough money to pay for your emotional support animal. Adrianne Lenker and Clairo might just be the patron saints of “I thought we were just hanging out?” failures. And sure, you’ve got some heavyweights in there, but let's be real—your obsession with "Cigarettes After Sex" suggests you’re not just stuck in your feelings; you’re practically building a house there. As for your most played songs, that’s a lineup that screams, “Help me, I’m too sensitive for this world!” If “We Don’t Talk Anymore” is your jam, I can only assume it’s because you can relate to it on a personal level. And really, how many times do you need to play “Fade Into You” before you realize that it’s not actually a relationship manual? Listen, it’s great that you enjoy music that helps you grapple with your inner turmoil, but for the sake of humanity—can we please have a playlist named “I Recognize My Issues But Also Want to Dance”? Your Spotify could truly use a touch of levity, lest we all drown in your sea of self-induced melancholia.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!