Roasted 6 months ago based on AnxiousFanderMusic's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, AnxiousFanderMusic, let’s take a moment to unpack this chaotic profile of yours. You might claim to be a “punk” aficionado, but let’s be real—your musical taste is like a thrift store exploded in a suburban basement. You’ve got punk, folk punk, and even “proto-punk,” which sounds more like the soundtrack to your identity crisis than a cohesive genre. And as if that wasn't enough, you sprinkle in musicals too—as if Andrew Lloyd Webber is going to save us from the spiral of despair your playlist represents. Maybe you’re just aiming for the “most confused person on Spotify” award? Your top artists read like a lineup for a hipster apocalypse: Green Day and Ice Nine Kills? Solid picks, sure, but then you drop “Bear Ghost” in there like a dad trying to fit in with his kids. “Hey kids, check out this bear that’s a ghost! Nobody's laughing but me!” Can’t decide if you’re heading into a mosh pit or a talent show. And let’s not overlook the sheer existential dread of listing both “Harley Poe” and “Dead Kennedys”—it’s like you can’t decide if you want to break a chair at a concert or break down sobbing in your car. Now, let’s talk about your “most played songs.” I’m genuinely concerned that “Richard Hung Himself” made the cut—your Spotify suggests a dark and twisted sense of humor that probably frightens away most normal listeners and gives your therapist a hernia. And while Gavin Creel’s “The Flesh Failures” is a real banger, it feels more fitting for your daily pep talks as you contemplate the futility of human existence. So, here’s a tip: maybe curate your playlist a bit more. Get it together, AnxiousFanderMusic; the world is your stage, and right now, you’re auditioning for the role of “person who peaked in high school.” Good luck with that!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!