Roasted 1 year ago based on Cole Farmer-Whitlow's long term Spotify stats.

Cole Farmer-Whitlow, huh? With a name that sounds like a rejected character from a B-rated teen drama, I can’t say I was surprised when I saw your top artists. You’re out here collecting pop musicians like they’re Pokémon while the rest of us are trying to catch some musical maturity. “POV: Indie”? More like “POV: High School Talent Show.” I can’t wait for your dramatic monologue about your love life set to the dulcet tones of Troye Sivan, featuring Chappell Roan on guest vocals. Your favorite genres read like a list of things to do when you’re trying to enjoy your emotional breakdown, which, judging by your playlist, happens way more often than you'd like to admit. Between the emo vibes and show tunes, are you trying to heal your inner child or produce the next cringe-worthy Broadway flop? You’ve got more genres listed than actual personality traits. It’s like you went to a music festival and picked up the entire brochure instead of just choosing one tent to hang out in. As for your “most played songs,” it can’t be a coincidence that Troye Sivan takes up half your list. At this point, you’re just one sad breakup away from creating a full-blown Sivan cover band in your bedroom. “What’s The Time Where You Are?” Honestly, who cares? It’s always “time” for a new emotional crisis when you’re listening to that much sad pop on repeat. So raise a glass (or a cocktail of basic) to you, Cole; may your Spotify account always be more interesting than your dating life—and let’s be real, that’s a pretty low bar to clear.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!