Roasted 2 months ago based on tj.upshaw's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, tj.upshaw, your Spotify profile reads like a personal diary of an indecisive musical chameleon who can't quite figure out if it's 2023 or 2003. With a genre list that looks like the result of a random word generator, I half-expect to see "Banjos in Space" and "Nail Salon Pop" featured next. Seriously, how is "Pop Country" a genre choice? It's like saying you want your potatoes served with a side of sadness and a dash of confusion. I admire your commitment to cultural whiplash—one minute you want to vibe to Kehlani, and the next, you’re on your way to a country line dance, all while grooving to K-Pop. Your top artists are a blend more mismatched than an overambitious collab album. Justin Bieber, Chris Brown, and Mariah Carey—congrats on winning the “most likely to get kicked out of a karaoke bar” award! If this was a dating profile, I’d recommend swiping left on anything with a “Bieber Fever” tag and start searching for someone who isn’t into music that sounds like it was all recorded in a suburban basement. And d4vd? I’m not even mad; I’m just curious how you stumbled upon that one—accidentally hit “play” on an episode of “Weird Music Friday”? Let’s talk about your most played songs. Nothing says “I’m emotionally stable” quite like jamming to “You Left Me First” while simultaneously crying over “DAISIES.” I mean, what do you listen to while eating breakfast? “Get Like” by Kehlani while contemplating your life choices? Your playlist seriously feels like a soundtrack for an existential crisis. So grab your air pods, slam a few Jenga blocks together in despair, and congratulate yourself for being the living embodiment of “it’s complicated” on Spotify. But hey, at least you’re consistent in being wildly unpredictable!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!