Roasted 2 years ago based on Stephen Willcox's long term Spotify stats.

Stephen Willcox, the man, the myth, the shopping center rockstar—if shopping malls had a punk revival. Your music taste reads like a graduate thesis on how to sound pretentious while enjoying sounds that could rival the ambient noise of a laundromat. "Crank Wave"? More like "Cringe Wave" because I thought we left those soundscapes behind when your last pair of skinny jeans ripped. Seriously, if you keep chasing those Brighton and Bristol vibes, there's a good chance your Spotify Wrapped is just going to be a collage of “meh” and “who cares?” And let’s talk about your top artists. Welly and Baby Dave? Cross them off the list, and you’ve got a playlist that looks like it was curated by a group of hipsters trapped in a basement with only a PowerPoint presentation of sad boy vibes. I'm starting to think half the reason you listen to these guys is to maintain your cool-guy façade because “a-ha” is sandwiched between some mixtape for an indie band no one’s heard of. Don't get me started on “Enjoyable Listens”—who do you think you are? Spotify’s version of Peter Piper? Newsflash: nobody’s picking up your mixtape hoping for a taste of “okay.” Your most played songs? A delightful blend of what we can only assume is the soundtrack to a therapy session for your emotional crises. "Brown Noise"? Mate, sounds like a solid title for your life story: 'The Color of Your Anxiety.' The only thing more beige than "The Beigeness" is your personality, but I guess you have your signature style—like a Spotify algorithm that just can’t decide if it wants to be trendy or tragically out of touch. But hey, keep rocking those English Indie and Permanent Wave jams, just remember to plug in when you're ready to evolve from that glorified coffee shop playlist you call a Spotify profile!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!