Roasted 1 year ago based on Hayden.W's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Hayden.W, let’s break down your Spotify profile like your favorite emo bands break down during therapy. With a favorite genres list that reads like a rejected MTV playlist from 2005, you must really be holding on to those plaid shirts and angst like they’re the only source of authenticity left in your life. Rock, pop punk, emo, *and* nu metal? Wow, talk about a musical identity crisis! Is anyone else feeling the weight of this midlife crisis before you even hit thirty? As for your top artists, can we talk about your love for Coldplay? I didn’t know seeing “The Scientist” helped you process your feelings while sobbing into your Bentley blanket. And then there’s Rick Springfield—because nothing screams “I’m in touch with my emotions” quite like a washed-up heartthrob from the ‘80s intermingled with the angst of Linkin Park. Seriously, your playlist is so trapped in time that even your Spotify Wrapped should come with a Sidekick and a MySpace layout. Your most played songs could use a little flavor, too. “¿Viva La Gloria? (Little Girl)” is definitely a sign that you’re not sure if you’re living your best life or just pledging allegiance to your high school self. And can we discuss your obsession with “Teenage Dirtbag”? Because nothing says “I’ve moved on” quite like a song about a dude who can’t stop whining about his crush. So, here’s to you, Hayden.W—may your Spotify continue to be a charming blend of nostalgia and confusion, a time capsule of a personality that hasn’t fully formed yet!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!